God…
I know that this is a test from you.
I know that you’re with us in our prayers.
I know that you never give us more than we can handle.
I know that you’re teaching us a lesson, a very hard one.
I shan’t doubt your judgment or command…
But please…
Help me understand…
I cannot bare this any longer.
I cannot hold back the tears much longer.
I cannot give much longer…
I just want all of this to stop right now. I don’t want this. I can’t stand this. I’m not that strong.
I see it in their eyes, that held back tear. I know they hide it, I hide it too.
I haven’t lost the will to live yet, but I’ve lost the will to move on.
I cannot believe this. This is a nightmare, a really scary, horrible, creepy, ugly, nasty, excruciating, unbearable nightmare. I’m going to wake up right now. Check my email and twitter. She’s passing by, sees me and go snitch to mom that I’m using the laptop. That’s exactly the way I want to be right now. Shout at me, snitch, hit me, beat me up, take away everything from me but don’t… don’t do this to me… Don’t…
I can’t hold back my tears anymore.
God,
Please…
I bend on my knees
I cry and creed…
Don’t take her away from us.. from me…
Help her through this pain…
Help us through this tragedy…
Don’t leave her alone …
I know she cries, I know she’s in pain, I know she’s too proud to show it. But I can’t hold back much longer.
God…
Take the hurt away from her…
Put it in me…
Just don’t let me see her suffer
Don’t let her suffer
Don’t give her pain…
Don’t take her away...
I hate hospitals; Gloomy, So gloomy. They have that special scent that sends you the signal to stay away. The walls, no matter how colored… Those Posters, no matter how many happy faces are painted on them… they still remain ugly.
One second, you’re worrying about a stupid internal mood swing. Second later, you get hit with one of the most shocking & painful news ever.
Those days have been so creepy, so lonely, so sore, so raw…
No one to talk to, I lost the ability to move my lips. I lost the ability to speak, smile, or eat. All I do is just wander away with my thoughts with such profound pain and think about nothing. My mind is blank. My heart is heavy, yet so empty.
I’ve never felt anything like this before.
God…
God…
God…
Help me understand…
Let me understand
Send me a sign to understand…
I cannot understand.
I cannot comprehend what’s going on, when? How? Why?
So sudden… So sudden… So sudden.. So sudden…
2/12/2009 … will be one of the slowest days of my entire life.
Lord, Do not leave her side ….
She needs you now…
We need you now…
I need some space… twitter, blogger, facebook, photobucket.. whatever pointless websites I use
This forever changed me.
I don’t think I’ll ever recover from this.
اللهم اشفي المؤمنين و المؤمنات ...
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